What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
