you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
