woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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