if you like me you must not know who I am
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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