when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Never joke about your clitoris.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
