you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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