So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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