yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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