I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
