found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
