i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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