it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
