i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
