im having a threesome with these popsicles
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize