I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize