dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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