The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize