your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
