I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
