You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
