Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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