Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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