let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So apparently I’m into choking now
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
