Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
