Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
