Your dad touched me again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
