Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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