I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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