So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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