he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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