I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My bed smells like the plague
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
