I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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