a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
