Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
