I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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