So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
