i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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