I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
