I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Randomize
