I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
