some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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