Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
