My sheets look like a crime scene.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
