I wish life had little blips of pornography
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
