so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dicks are not precious.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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