Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
