id be glad to
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
