i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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