But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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