I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I need to calm my uterus...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
