I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
