Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
