I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
