What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
