Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
