i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize