peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
