We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
