I want to have your abortion
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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