Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
