Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
