We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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