she was so not down for the gang bang
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize