you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize