the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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