Your tits are I can't wait for
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
