Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
